The Schuller Counseling Therapy Blog
I am a former teacher and school counselor turned therapist. My career began in addictions treatment with opioid addicts at a methadone clinic and then at a treatment center for substance abuse. I now work with adults in my Dallas office and virtually from anywhere in Texas.
I work with emerging adults on life, addicts, family members of addicts, betrayed partners, people with mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. While my focus is on trauma and addictions, I have a well-rounded background and am equipped to treat a host of issues and mental health conditions.
I take a holistic approach to treatment and use both cognitive and somatic therapies to ensure we are hitting things from every angle. We need to use talk therapy to understand our stories and know how to make positive changes and somatic therapy to address root causes by healing trauma stored in the body.
I am a certified Brainspotting therapist, trained under Dr. Pie Frey, the “grandmother of Brainspotting”. Brainspotting is a somatic modality used to treat underlying trauma by accessing and processing information in the subcortical brain.
I treat both chemical and process addictions, including porn and sex addiction. I am presently an ASAT-Candidate working toward CSAT licensure and use Patrick Carnes’ 30 Task Model to treat sex addiction.
Sex addicts are addicted to sexual acting out behaviors similarly to how an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. Sex addicts have lost control of their behavior and are acting in ways that are harmful to self and others and cannot stop (or can’t stay stopped) despite their best efforts to do so.
Sex addicts are not just people who feel bad about their behavior because someone in their life or society at large shamed them. They are not just people who enjoy sex or identify as having a high sex drive. They are not just people who have a lot of sex, have many sexual partners, or engage in a wide variety of sexual behaviors. None of these things are what make someone a sex addict.
Sex addicts use sexual acting out behaviors to change the way they feel and avoid or escape an intolerable reality. They are self-medicating with these behaviors, sometimes using them to manage mental disorders like anxiety or depression, to deal with stress, or to manage unhealed trauma. This is a maladaptive coping skill that has serious negative consequences for the addict and others.
Sexual acting out behaviors may include porn use, excessive masturbation, using prostitutes, having affairs, being extremely promiscuous, having anonymous sex, engaging in voyeurism or exhibitionism, and many other behaviors.
Sex addiction impairs one’s ability to function in society and negatively impacts relationships, finances, work, and ability to maintain and carry out responsibilities.
Sex addicts experience obsessive thoughts, craving, tolerance, and withdrawal the same way a drug addict or alcoholic would.
Sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. Sex addicts have a warped sense of healthy intimacy and do not know how to be appropriately vulnerable and have genuine connection with others with safe and healthy boundaries.
The purpose of this video is to educate, not diagnose, but it can be used as a tool to gauge if you may want to seek professional help. I encourage you to read the diagnostic criteria yourself, which was taken directly from Clinical Management of Sex Addiction by Patrick Carnes and Kenneth Adams,
Saying “yes” to 3 out of 10 of the following meets cutoff for sex addiction (though most sex addicts say “yes” to 5+).
Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses in order to engage in specific sexual behaviors.
Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent or over a longer period of time than intended.
Persistent desire and/or unsuccessful attempts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.
Inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.
Preoccupation with sexual behavior and/or preparatory activities.
Frequently engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic, or social obligations.
Continuing the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.
Needing to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk level of behaviors in order to achieve the desired effect; or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
Distress, anxiety, restlessness, or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior.
Brainspotting is a type of therapy that is used to treat trauma and also enhance performance. It is one of the fastest and most effective ways to heal trauma and often works when other approaches have failed.
Brainspotting is a great option for people with complex PTSD or who dissociate. It is a very gentle therapy that allows for a safe and effective way to work through the most painful and activating memories.
Brainspotting is very safe and can be used to treat trauma, stress, anxiety, and anything that is emotionally disturbing. It can also be used to enhance performance in personal, professional, and athletic endeavors.
Brainspotting works by identifying and using a significant eye position associated with the target issue that allows one to tap into their subcortical brain and process issues held deeply in the subconscious and body.
Brainspotting is a somatic modality, meaning it works through the body to process, heal, and release trauma stored in the body. While people are Brainpotting, they may experience physical sensations through the body as they process the target issue.
Brainspotting relies on the brain and body’s innate ability to heal itself. The therapist’s attuned presence creates a safe space that allows for deep processing and facilitates healing. The therapist is not controlling or directing the process, but following the client wherever they go.