Sex Addiction & Porn Addiction

If your problem is sex…

You want to stop, but you’re struggling. 

Your compulsive behaviors are out of control. You are consumed by intrusive thoughts, fear, pain, and shame. Whether it’s porn, prostitutes, affairs, chat rooms, cam models, fantasy, exhibitionism, voyeurism, extreme promiscuity, or something else—you want to stop, but you can’t. At least not for long. You know this is no longer working for you, but you don’t know how to change.

You can’t keep living this way.  

Your relationships, job, reputation, financial security, sanity—and maybe even freedom—are all on the line. You are not living a life aligned with your values. You are exhausted and overwhelmed by the chaos and consequences of your behaviors. It’s becoming harder to carry these secrets and maintain this double life, and you want an out.

You need a solution. 

And I have it. I know the path to freedom and change and have walked alongside others down it. I will help you understand how you got here, make sense of the madness, and create an action plan to get you out. You can live a happy, healthy, and free life—and you deserve it. 

What is Sex Addiction?

‍Sex addicts are addicted to sexual acting out behaviors similarly to how an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol.

Sex addicts have lost control of their behavior and are acting in ways that are harmful to self and others and cannot stop (or can’t stay stopped) despite their best efforts to do so. 

Sex addicts are not just people who feel bad about their behavior because someone in their life or society at large shamed them. They are not just people who enjoy sex or identify as having a high sex drive. They are not just people who have a lot of sex, have many sexual partners, or engage in a wide variety of sexual behaviors. None of these things are what make someone a sex addict.

Sex addicts use sexual acting out behaviors to change the way they feel and avoid or escape an intolerable reality. They are self-medicating with these behaviors, sometimes using them to manage mental disorders like anxiety or depression, to deal with stress, or to manage unhealed trauma. This is a maladaptive coping skill that has serious negative consequences for the addict and others.

Sexual acting out behaviors may include porn use, excessive masturbation, using prostitutes, having affairs, being extremely promiscuous, having anonymous sex, engaging in voyeurism or exhibitionism, and many other behaviors. 

Sex addiction impairs one’s ability to function in society and negatively impacts relationships, finances, work, and ability to maintain and carry out responsibilities. 

Sex addicts experience obsessive thoughts, craving, tolerance, and withdrawal the same way a drug addict or alcoholic would. 

Sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. Sex addicts have a warped sense of healthy intimacy and do not know how to be appropriately vulnerable and have genuine connection with others with safe and healthy boundaries.

FAQs on Sex Addiction & Porn Addiction

  • If your sexual behavior has resulted in negative consequences that have escalated over time and you have had a difficult time stopping despite these consequences, you are probably a sex addict. A sex addict experiences cravings or urges and engages in porn or other sexual acting out behaviors to change the way they feel. It is about chasing highs and running from lows. While these behaviors can be used to avoid uncomfortable feelings and harsh realities, they come at a cost and ultimately impair the addict’s ability to optimally function in life. 

  • Yes. There is a plethora of research, multiple 12 step programs with international reach,  a whole specialty of therapy dedicated to this issue, and thousands of suffering sex addicts worldwide to attest to this being a real thing. The solution devised by Patrick Carnes and other pioneers in this field is based on research on the successes of those who have recovered and how they managed to do so.  Most importantly, we treat this issue like an addiction, we get results and see people recover.

  • Sex addiction can result from a variety of underlying causes, and there are typically multiple factors at play. Some of these include having trauma, untreated mental illness, a dysregulated nervous system, poor coping skills, attachment issues, and a family history of addiction.

  • A porn addict is also a sex addict, as porn addiction falls under the umbrella of sex addiction. Compulsive porn use is just one of the many problematic behaviors that sex addicts may struggle with.

  • Yes, sex addiction is very treatable with specialized therapy in conjunction with a 12 step program of recovery. Sex addicts must have a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) or Associate Sex Addiction Therapist (ASAT), who have extensive education and training in the treatment of sex addiction.